On my last post I wrote about silence. How much I love it and how difficult it is to enjoy it when you live in a big city.
Yesterday night, after working almost all the afternoon on my productivity system, law school projects and taking care of my little devils (cats), I went for a small walk outside.
To my surprise, even though it was only 11pm, the streets were empty, there was no sound other than the wind and myself. It felt great. I don’t remember the last time I was able to do that.
It completely de-stressed me and calmed my mind after that long day. By the end of the walk, near a park, the silence and peace was broken by an improvised party (COVID restrictions closed all the bars) so I just started a random playlist on Spotify and discovered this song which I think is great. It was a nice touch to end a peaceful walk outside.
There’s one thing I love more than anything else in my days: silence. The complete silence I often experience around 4am is one of the reasons that I “suffered” from insomnia for so long.
I love it, it brings me peace, even the voice in my head shuts up.
Working in a restaurant and having people talk loudly all day long, kids crying, phones ringing, police sirens on the streets… all that noise drives me crazy. But I always look forward to 4 am: No cars, nobody is talking, the cats are sleeping, it’s my little version of heaven on earth. It’s the one moment I can finally relax and just enjoy being “here”.
With everything that has happened up until now in 2020, I think we can all agree that the only thing missing is the alien invasion.
Coronavirus, storms, tornados, volcanic eruptions… You name it! We’ve had lock downs, restrictions, masks, “social bubbles”, but one of the most overlooked things that this pandemic has brought and that I don’t see people talking about is this: having to check daily on the news or on your government website what you’re allowed to do the next day.
Remember the time where you could just plan something with your friends and then do it? Today this is a different story. We have to check, almost everyday, what are the new rules as they often change on a weekly basis depending on where you live.
Are you allowed to go to the restaurant? Yes but only until 11pm and you can’t sit outdoor. Can you go to the pub? Of course you can! Oops, no you can’t anymore.
I miss being able to live my life without having to check the news or watch the TV to know what the rules are for the next day. I miss being able to plan a trip and do it, or just planing to go to the movies with friends and be able to do so.
When did 14 days to flatten the curve become X months to eradicate the disease? This is a serious topic and a very grave situation I know that, but the complete incoherence of the measures taken on a weekly basis- sometimes contradicting each other- is too much for me, and having to check on my city, région, state and federal government internet pages to see what’s allowed and what’s not, is also too much.
I recently started reading Dale Canergie’s “How to win friends and influence people” and it made me realize how little I know about the people around me.
Of course I know their names, I know where they work or what they study but I don’t know what really matters to them. Of all the people I have around me I only know the goals and dreams of two persons: myself and my fiancé.
Even my best friend’s dream I don’t quite remember anymore, the conversations we’ve had were becoming shallower for the past few months and I now realize how poor of a job I was doing.
I spent 30 hours a week with my colleagues those past 12 months and I still don’t know what really matters to any of them, what are their hobbies, their taste in music, what activities they enjoy doing… And when I lay down in bed at night I sometimes wonder why, usually, people don’t come to talk to me or care about how I am doing… Why should they? I haven’t been a friend to them, or listened carefully to what they had to say. So why should they give me their attention or friendship when all I have given them is superficial attention at best and indifference at worst.
The simple answer to that question is that I was too blind to see what kind of person I was being to them. I was being too self-centered.
To illustrate that point: I don’t recall ever being really interested into someone’s life or well-being when all they were interested in was themselves. And this fact is perhaps true for everyone else… To receive, you first have to give. “Don’t go out looking for a friend, go out looking to be a friend”.
What I always wanted to be was a friend. I wanted to help people feel better and be there for them when they needed. To be that someone you can always count on, and I now realize how little did I do to achieve that goal.
I’m 26 years old and I just realized that to be meaningful to someone, to stand out above the crowd of thousands of Facebook friends and Twitter followers, you have to give them a honest and sincere friendship.